Expectations

I recently attended an event at a location with a sub-cultural group of people.  This is not surprising in and of itself as I have been known to do such things before.  As a former student of sociology I seem to be innately drawn to sub-groups within the larger culture and in so doing I gather information.  It’s not an exercise with a deliberate academic intent but one I do out of a personal desire to grow and expand.  So, like I say, recently I was at one of these events and what is a bit surprising is that I had, several weeks ago, told my spouse that I was done with that group.  Essentially what I had desired to achieve by attending these functions had not manifested in any meaningful way.  However, my last visit was very rewarding.  Why was this?  I attended three weeks in a row previously, eager to learn and experience and be challenged and this did not happen.  Yesterday I attended more out of boredom and a lack of something to do and I have a good and positive experience.  And then it occurred to me.  The answer, quite possibly, lies in part, with expectations.

When we put forward expectations do we, in turn, limit ourselves?  We might say to ourselves, “I am going to do this thing and when I’m done this thing I expect A to happen as a result.”  However, when the thing is done I believe that many of us are left disappointed because A did not manifest at all or at least as we envisioned it.  Perhaps our tendency then, is to believe we have failed.  Did we actually fail?  No.  I think it is probably because we have just invested so much of ourselves and our energy in the hoping and manipulating of events to achieve the desired end that we feel “ripped off” because it looks different than we expected.  It’s like a transaction gone wrong.  The thing you want ends up costing you more than you planned or the item that arrives in the mail is not at all like the item in the picture.  This was my experience the first few weeks I attended the group. 

What if, instead of laying out our expectations we simply let things unfold?  If we put out no expectations and just allow the event to happen then, I feel, we are provided a blessing of another kind; a blessing of something really exciting.  That is, we are gifted with the potential for many things to happen.  And, perhaps, these things are much better and richer than what we were originally hoping for.  Not having expectations seems to put us in a space where we can relax, put down our desire to control outcomes and wait for the universe to bring what it may.  This was my experience last night at group.  Like I mentioned above, I attended more out of a sense of “nothing to do” than anything else.  The result was wonderful.  I was gifted with ears to hear and a state of mind ready to receive the message I needed.  I felt more relaxed throughout the evening and even more confident interacting with others.  I simply had no expectations and the universe simply presented.  The gift was my ability to hear what I needed to hear.  And I was grateful for it.